The Competence Trap
The biggest trap for high-performing leaders isn't burnout.
It's competence.
You got here because you're exceptional at solving. At seeing. At holding. At being the person in the room who processes fastest, connects most, delivers most reliably.
And now the thing you're exceptional at is the thing keeping you locked in place.
This is the paradox nobody prepares you for. The skills that built your career don't just stop being useful at a certain level — they actively work against you. Not because they're wrong. Because they're too right. They fit so perfectly that questioning them feels like questioning yourself.
The perfectionist who can't delegate — not because they don't know how, but because "good enough" feels like a personal failure. Delegation isn't a skill problem for them. It's an identity problem. The part of them that equates their output with their worth cannot tolerate someone else producing at 80%.
The rescuer who solves everyone's problems — not because they don't have boundaries, but because being needed is how they know they matter. Take away the rescuing and they don't feel free. They feel empty.
The expert who won't admit uncertainty — not because they're arrogant, but because "I don't know" feels like the ground disappearing. Their entire relationship with competence was built on being the one who knows. The one who sees. Remove that and what's left?
These aren't flaws. They're strategies that worked brilliantly. Until now.
That's what makes this developmental moment so disorienting. You're not being asked to fix a weakness. You're being asked to loosen your grip on a strength. And every fibre of your professional identity is telling you that's a terrible idea.
I've sat with hundreds of leaders in this moment. The very capable ones arrive thinking they need a new skill. Better delegation techniques. Executive presence coaching. Communication frameworks.
And then we get underneath. And what's actually happening is simpler, and harder: they're fused with a strategy. The strategy is running them. And until they can see it as something they do rather than something they are, no new skill will land.
The developmental edge isn't learning new skills. It's making the old strategy visible — turning it from something that has you into something you have.
That's the shift. Subject to object. From "I am a perfectionist" to "I notice a part of me that reaches for perfection when it's afraid."
It's uncomfortable because you're not fixing a weakness. You're questioning a strength. The very thing that everyone — your manager, your team, your family — has praised you for.
And in my experience, it's the only path to the next level that actually holds.
Everything else is just adding new behaviours on top of old patterns. Which works. Until it doesn't.
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